Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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