Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
