It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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