i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dignity is for republicans.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
