he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
