i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the day after is always just damage control
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Randomize
