Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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