I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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