Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
