so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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