i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
