we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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