Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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