I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize