Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
one might say we're banned from that church
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sex in a hospital.. check
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
