...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
