If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
