It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
