In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
