Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you are never too drunk for berry picking
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize