What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
