btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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