what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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