Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
