I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
