i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
