I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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