I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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