Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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