i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
