i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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