She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
