Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
