So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
