girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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