I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
