Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
