I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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