oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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