six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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