i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
