What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
