i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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