I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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