I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize