I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
