ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
