she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
