I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
