Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
