so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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