is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
