yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
