if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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