It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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