i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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