He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
