omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
