I'm drive I can fine osifer
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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