Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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